Can't fight the night
by Tina Chaves1
Summary: A story about the whole engagement thing between Rachel and Joey in the 9th season. HIATUS
1. Chapter one

**- Can't fight the night -  
** ::: short story :::

**Note from Tina:** Hey guys! I was having like this huuuuuuge block and then I thought maybe if I wrote a short story I would get better, so... I did it!! :) I'm surprised I managed to do it, my block is BA-AD!! But anyway, it's pretty corny, I had to get it out after two comedies in a row!! :) Anyway, I hope you like it anyway! It happens on the beginning of the 9th season, but not at the hospital with the cliffhanger. But it does explain what happened there and everything! Please don't focus too much on Joey! 

**Disclaimer:** These characters do not belong to me, they belong to _Bright Kauffman and Crane Productions_ in association with _Warner Bros_. The fic though belongs to me and my site **Soulmates**, dedicated to Ross and Rachel! 

* * *

Rachel softly hummed one of the very few lullabies she knew to her daughter, leaning on the crib to get a good view of the beautiful baby who peacefully slept. She smiled sweetly at Emma, she couldn't believe that little angel was hers. She reached out and touched her soft hair, her tiny hand, with tiny fingers... she was so perfect, it was all so surreal. The last few days had been very overwhelming for Rachel, but yet everytime she watched Emma as she slept it all just seemed to fade away and all that was left left was a peaceful warmth in her heart. 

She felt a chill up her spine and imediately looked at the window, to find it open. She walked to it stroking her arms to keep herself warm, seemed like it was getting cold before time this year. Summer was just ending, fall would be somewhat chilly this time and she hoped her little Emma wouldn't get such a rough winter as her first one ever alive. She closed the window and made her way back to the crib, it felt like a magnet, she couldn't get away from it, specially if Emma was asleep. "My cry baby", Rachel whispered softly, smiling down at Emma. 

After planting a soft kiss on Emma's hair, Rachel quietly left the room, knowing that in just a few hours she would have to be back there anyway. She was exausted, it had been a long time since she had had a decent night of sleep. Emma would wake up several times at night for all reasons possible, so much sometimes Rachel couldn't even tell the difference between night or day. Truth, when Ross was at home he always helped her when the problem was a dirty diaper of just the wish get some atention, but there were some things he just couldn't help with, for anatomic and biologic reasons. 

Rachel sunk on the couch of her and Ross' apartment and yawned. She turned the t.v. on, mainly just for the sake of it. She was so out of it she knew she wasn't going to pay atention to any of it, but she did it anyway, it seemed to make her comfortable. She glanced at the clock that rested on the side table, it was still 7 p.m.. "The gang must be at Central Perk", she thought. Ross hadn't been home yet though, she noticed, and Joey hadn't come over as usual. She took a while to rethink everything that was going on right now, so tired that it seemed like the facts strumbled on one another as she wondered. 

Eversince she left the hospital, or maybe even before she gave birth, her hormones had been driving her so much crazy she couldn't concentrate on her life well, it seemed like she only made mistakes. And it was funny because, even so, whenever she was with Emma she was this racional mature woman. Maybe that's when the animal maternal stincts kick in, she concluded. But her personal life... what a mess it had turned out. She had lost the potential love of her life for good and got herself an engagement she never wanted in the first place. 

Sure, Ross and she hadn't been a couple or had shared many feelings for the last few years. But still they had a daughter and, just untill very recently, she thought she could count on him for everything, no matter what. What changed? Why did that talk about the future with Janice and Joey changed her opinion so much? Why could she believe Joey would always be there for her, but Ross maybe wouldn't? She knew the answers... Ross was a great guy. In fact, he was the best guy she had ever known, losing him was the scariest thought she could ever have. And she really believed she had lost him forever this time. 

Just then Ross walked in, still wearing a suit from work. Rachel smiled, he was looking so good, aging was doing a good job with him. He smiled, pleased to notice Emma should be in bed and Rachel had made it. He could still remember well how she was nervous about being a bad mommy. But that memory was quickly fading as a new image of Rachel took its place, the image a of a great and responsable mom who's been trying hard and learning everyday more since they got back from the hospital. "Quick learner", he smiled at the thought. 

"Hi", he smiled at her as he placed his briefcase on the coffee table. Rachel smiled back and put her index finger on her lips, motioning him not to make too much noise. "Took me forever to get her to sleep and I only have a few hours before I have to go in there again", she said. He smiled at her. "Why don't you get yourself some sleep? I'll stay up for her", he suggested. She wondered for a while and remembered Joey would be there any minute, it wouldn't be such a good idea leaving Ross and him alone like that, they didn't seem to be on too good therms lately. 

"Hm, I'll just take a shower, I'm not that tired tonight, but thanks" Rachel replied, trying not to sound too obvious about why she was actually turning his offer down. It was a waste though, he knew what she was thinking... Both thought about it a lot, and yet they never talked about it to each other, not even when Joey first told Rachel and Ross about his feelings. Lately they had barely even mentioned there ever was a relationship between them, so talking about Joey would be a complete turn around. They weren't a real couple anymore, so they figured there was nothing to talk about with each other concerning that. 

As Rachel left to take her shower Ross took a deep breath, looking miserable. He couldn't believe Rachel was actually going to marry Joey. This was not what was supposed to happen, he thought. The day Emma was born was supposed to be perfect. As Ross and Phoebe watched little Emma at the nursery, she convinced him that he shouldn't be so afraid of his feelings, that it would be more than worth it giving another try with the woman of his dreams. But it was over like that...! Funny how five minutes can turn your life around. He walked into her room only to find Joey proposing to her with his grandma's ring. It wasn't fair... But since Rachel said yes, what was he supposed to do? Be happy for her, that's how much he loved her. 

Ross shook himself off of his memories, it was useless to keep remembering it, nothing would change. Emma, that was his future, that was what he needed to focus on right. He carefully entered the nursery he and Rachel had decorated specially for her, trying hard not to make any noise that could snap her princess away from dreamland. He approached the crib and smiled, Emma was a perfect baby. He loved being around her, getting to know this heavenly creature he and Rachel made, together. She was just about a month old still but he knew her. He would constantly imagine her future, always happy and colorful. 

He heard something behind him and turned around. Rachel was there again, smiling weakly at them, wearing her bathrobe. "Why does she have to look so beautiful? Is this a way of punishing me for ever letting her go?", he thought to himself. "You just can't stay away from her, can you?" he said, smiling back at her. "I hate not knowing what's going on with her", she said, walking to the crib and smiling as she saw Emma was in the very same position she left her. She focused on the baby's breathing, it was so relaxing. 

Ross turned his atention back to Emma and imediately also focused on her breathing. He felt silly sometimes for it, but sometimes he would wake up in the middle of the night to make sure she was there, that she existed. And most recently he had begun waking up to make sure she was breathing. He was too scared of ever losing her. He wouldn't bear if he ever lost Emma, specially after having just lost Rachel. 

Even though he tried hard to keep his feelings aside, at all times he was very aware of Rachel's presence, of her body standing right there next to his. Eversince the birth it was getting harder and harder for him to hide these feelings he had kept locked up inside his heart for so long, they were now releasing themselves out and Emma was the key. He couldn't even imagine Rachel felt the exact same way. 

So they just stood there for a long time, loving vibes flashing all over the place without anyone admiting it. There was no need to. But he still thought she loved Joey, she still thought he simply didn't love her anymore. She looked at him and he quickly turned to look at her back. They kept looking at each other and... was it love they could see in each other's eyes? They tried just to smile, but the sparke in their look was uncontrollable. It had been so long ago, they had both missed that funny feeling in their stomach, little soft butterfly touches. 

Rachel broke into a smile first, for a moment totally forgetting all about Joey. Ross was sent to heaven aswell and if he wasn't so sure Emma was sleeping right before them he could swear he was a few years in the past, back when he and Rachel were together. He smiled back and softly touched her hand that was rested on the crib with his thumb, also resting it there. Rachel looked down at their hands and then back at Ross, smiling more. She knew that smile, she knew that look he had in his eyes... 

Their moment was broken by the phone, which started ringing. Both instantly looked at Emma, but she didn't seem to be hearing it, so neither of them bothered to go pick up the phone, not right now. That's what machines are for anyway, they thought. _"Hi Ross, it's your mom, how are you sweetie? And how's Emma?"_. "Fine", Ross said softly, looking down at Emma. Rachel smiled at him more. _"Well, okay, this is not what I called for though. Since you didn't seem to have the guts to ask Rachel to marry you, I was wondering if I could have your grandmother's ring back. I'll save it to the next time you have a baby with a woman you're no longer dating!"_

Ross' eyes widen up. How could his mother not realise Rachel lived there too and would esily hear that message? He swallowed hard and then looked at Rachel, who seemed to had fallen in realisation about the ring. She slowly took the engagement ring off and looked at the carving. "R.G." She paused and looked at him. "Rachel Geller", she whispered. Ross didn't say anything, he just sighed. "Of course it's not Rachel Green, not even Joey would be stupid enough to put my maiden name on my engagement ring!" Ross simply looked at her. 

At first all she could think about was the fact that Joey was never supposed to propose that day. She played the memory she had about that day on her head over and over, it all made sense now. The surprised look on his face, how vague he was about the ring, Ross' anger... Oh, so he was not just angry because Joey had proposed, he was angry because he wanted to do it... and Joey used his ring. Rachel couldn't believe it, it was too much information to take in in such short period of time. 

"Oh my God", she whispered. Then she sighed nervously and put her hands on her face for a while. "Were you going to propose to me?", she said when she finally came out of her trance. Ross sighed too, frustrated, he didn't want to answer. "It doesn't matter Rachel. It simply doesn't matter whose ring it was, you said yes to him" he said, hurt. She could have easily broken down and cried right there. Her hormones, her confusion, his puppie eyes...! He was hurt and she could see that. 

"Ross, you remember just how overwhelmed I was that day. My hormones were driving me crazy, I was crying over anything, I just-" "You don't owe me any explanation, Rachel", he said shortly and kinda coldly. They stayed in silence for a while, not knowing what to say. "You told me we shouldn't let 'us' happen again that day. And Janice was all telling me once you had your own family you will completely forget about Emma and me", she continued. 

"What?! This is crazy, Rachel, you know I will never do that!" he said. "Do I?", she said. They were both still talking pretty softly, Emma was still deep into her sleep. "Have I ever forgotten about Ben?", he asked and she knew he was right. "But still Ross, I thought you didn't want to be with me, you said it yourself", she said, starting to get teary eyed. "'Cause I was scared, Rachel, I was scared of hurting Emma", he argued. "Did you change your mind?", she softly asked, whiping some tears as they steamed down her cheek. "Yes", he said simply. 

Rachel looked at him quite surprised. She didn't know what to say, she just kept glaring at him with her big blue eyes. Ross quickly looked down and then up at her again. "Phoebe helped me realise that this, just this Rachel, is everthing I've always wanted since I was fifteen", he said. "It's all in this room". Rachel's heart melted, he always knew what to say...! How could she ever resist that? 

"Oh Ross... I don't know what to say", she whispered. "There's no need to say anything", he whispered. They quietly hugged for a long time and he whispered into her ear "Thank you for everything". Her heart felt as if it was about to explode, she had to find a way of showing him just how much she loved him too, but couldn't find any words. There weren't any words who could express it, so she simply broke the hug and kissed him. They kissed for a very long time, as if trying to make it up for the lost time. They missed each other's lips, each other's taste, each other's arms. The "break" was finally over. 

**::: THE END :::**   
  
Hope you guys liked it! If anything comes up, e-mail me! :) 


	2. Chapter two

**- Can't fight the night -  
** ::: chapter 2 :::

Joey stood outside Ross and Rachel's apartment, taking a deep breath before he could make any movement to knock on the door. Lately he had been really confused over everything that had happened to his life and, well, to everyone elese's lives. He wasn't supposed to have asked Rachel to marry him, hell, he hadn't! But she was so depressed...! And she said yes to him. He figured maybe the truth would make her devastaded again and deep down there was also a part of him that really really wanted her for him. But he knew it wasn't right and felt awful for this whole thing... "Maybe with time this dust will set down and we can figure this out", he concluded. 

Inside, in Emma's bedroom, Ross and Rachel were still embraced in their longing kiss. Surely neither of them had even thought about Joey or the engagement, they were too happy to let their minds be bothered like that. But they had figured the wedding was off anyway, considering she now knew that Joey wasn't really proposing and that the ring was Ross'. So they didn't even want to think about that right now, nothing seemed to matter. They just kissed and let themselves be happy with each other like once they did in the past. 

Emma stirred and made of her her cute baby sounds, which immediately made Ross and Rachel break apart. They looked down at her and saw she was right back into her sleep, false alarm. Rachel kept looking down at the baby smiling and Ross looked up at her, kind of anxious to see what look she would have on her face when she looked back. Just then she looked at him and her smile grew a little more, making her blush. Ross, obviously content with her expression, took one of her hands and kissed it. 

They kept staring at each other for a while without saying anything. There wasn't anything to say, once again, they knew exactly how the other was feeling because that's exactly how they felt... the same way. Slowly they leaned in for another kiss, this time more slow and tender than the previous one, but yet so deep neither of them heard the knock on the door once, twice... and then Emma broke into tears when the knocking got hard enough to wake her up. They broke the kiss once again to assist Emma and finally heard the knocking. Rachel was already picking Emma up from her crib, so Ross walked to the door to see who that was. 

"H-hey, Ross" Joey said with a shaky voice. They hadn't talked much or been very civil with each other lately, not since Joey accidentally proposed to Rachel. Before any of this happened, Joey had already talked to Ross about his feelings for Rachel and Ross himself was the one who convinced Joey to talk to Rachel about it. But yet lately things hadn't seemed so easy, specially because Ross felt so betrayed. Joey felt terrible for the whole thing, he would have never had proposed to Rachel like that, Ross was one of his best friends after all. But now that the mess was set, he figured he'd have to carry on so he wouldn't end up hurting Rachel aswell. 

"Hi Joey" Ross said, a bit atonished. For a moment there he fell back into reality, into the world where Rachel was engaged to someone else, where she wasn't his girlfriend. He was no longer angry though, he was more of upset for Joey. The main reason he was so angry when he heard about Joey and Rachel's engagement was because he figured he'd never have a chance with Rachel again after that. But now that he knew kinda why Rachel said yes, he was only upset with Joey because of what he did, he proposed to Rachel after all, with his ring. He felt betrayed, deeply betrayed by one of his best friends. He really thought Joey cared more about their friendship... 

"Hm, is Rachel there?" Joey asked, still nervous. Ross quickly looked into the baby's room direction and could clearily hear Emma crying still, "Yeah, come on in". Joey entered, still nervous because of Ross' presence. He usually visited Rachel and Emma when Ross was at work, but today he had an audition that took all afternoon so he couldn't come. Luckily he had gotten the part, it seemed easier to get a call back and actual parts now that he was back in _"Days of our lives"_. "She's in Emma's room" "Thanks", Joey said, walking slowly towards the bedroom. Ross thought it'd be better for him to stay out of it, but he sat down on the tabe, where he had put his briefcase, and started marking some essays close enough to hear what happened in there. 

Joey stood on the doorway for a while, watching Rachel as she craddled Emma back to sleep. But Emma way still crying so hard her tiny face was all red and she was screaming from the top of her lungs. "Shhh, sweetie, calm down, it's okay... Shhh", Rachel whispered softly, still unaware of Joey's presence. Joey looked somewhat hurt, he was taking notice at how beautiful and perfect Rachel was... but she didn't love him. He knew that for sure. She cared a lot about him, he knew that, but in a marriege that's just not enough. He wanted her to love him so bad it hurt sometimes... 

Rachel turned around and noticed Joey looking at her. "Hi Joey", she said softly, she kinda had figured out it would be him at the door. He smiled a little, trying to hide his sorrow. "Hi Rach", he replied. "Need any help with Emma?" he offered. Rachel looked down at the baby and sighed, her vocal cords being able to reach the highest notes here and there pushing her close to the edge. Emma was the cutest baby and could be really calm, but when she was crabby she had the worst mood. "Too bad she got that from her daddy", Rachel thought, too blind to admit part of that was from her too. 

"She'll be fine, thanks", Rachel said, still pacing around the room, gently rocking Emma. Joey stood there for a while, he figured it would be better if he didn't say anything while Emma was still crying. Not that he actually had anything to say, but everyday he came around to just have some small talk with Rachel, she could get quite lonely when Ross was working. Besides, they were going to get married, he was her fiancée, somehow...! It just didn't feel like it. They didn't act like a couple, they had never even kissed, so he wasn't sure of how exactly he should act with her. 

She sat on the rocking chair on a corner and Emma's cry slowly began to fade away. "Mental note, Emma likes the rocking chair", the thought to herself. She had been doing that a lot lately, everyday more learning things about her daughter that would be very helpful when she needed them. She already knew quite a few things about her. She knew Emma liked the tryceraptor teddy better than any other teddy she had, she knew exactly what temperature she liked on her water when she had a bath, she knew she liked to watch when Rachel had lunch, she knew that she fell asleep everytime Ross marked essays with her, reading the boring things his students wrote about rocks... Rachel smiled at the memory. 

Soon Emma was quiet, but still wide awake, looking at her mother atently. This was also one of Rachel's favorite moments, just having her baby looking at her with her big blue eyes, just like hers, as if they're getting to know each other better simply by that look. Rachel kept smiling at Emma, their look still locked in each other's, and rocking on the chair. Joey approached them and smiled at the love he could feel on the atmosphere, unconditional love. For a moment he pretended that it was his own family... His wife Rachel, holding his daughter Emma. But after a moment he shook himself off of that thought, he knew he couldn't fool himself like that. 

"She has beautiful eyes", Joey commented. Rachel quickly looked up at him and smiled. "Yeah, she got Ross' puppie look", she smiled. Joey's half smile faded a bit. "I meant the color, same as yours" he said. "Hers is a little lighter though, I suppose it's her age", she said. Emma then placed some fingers in her mouth and sucked them, saliva pouring from her tiny mouth and dripping from her chin. Joey got a disgusted expression and Rachel simply smiled, everything her baby did seemed to be cute. 

"Hm, remember that audition for that play I wanted?" Joey began. "Oh yeah, it was today, right? How did it go?" Rachel said as she grabbed a tissue to clean Emma's chin. "It went really well, I got the part", he said. "Oh, Joey, I'm happy for you", she said, smiling at him, but too busy with her baby to congratulate him better. He noticed that and for a second hundreds of thoughts rushed through his head, ones that showed him how things would be if he indeed married Rachel. They would have a lot less time for themselves because of Emma, that was for sure. He quickly put those thoughts aside though, they seemed way too selfish for him, he shouldn't focus on the bad part of dating a girl who had a baby with another guy. 

The rest of Joey's visit doesn't deserve any deep remark. Emma eventually fell asleep and Rachel talked to him for a while, still in the room. Their conversation never reached any important subject, Rachel never mentioned Ross and what had previously happened, for she wasn't really sure what was really going on. She wanted to feel guilty, but what happened was so right that she just couldn't feel that way. She actually felt guilty for not feeling guilty! After a while she concluded maybe that meant she was falling back in love with Ross. Or that maybe she never actually stopped loving him on the first place. 

By the time Joey had left Ross had already finished marking the essays and was on the shower, so there was no one in the living room. Rachel stood there for a while and realised she still was on her bathrobe she put on after she took her shower, so she went into her room to change and lay down for a few minutes. When she came out she saw Ross setting the table for two as a delicious smell of chicken came from the kitchen. He looked at her and both smiled weakly at each other. She approached and helped him, neither saying anything for a while. 

"How did it go with Joey?", he asked as if he already didn't know. He wanted to bring it up though, he figured they would have to talk about it sooner or later, better make that sooner. She looked at him "I don't know." There was a slight pause. "I didn't tell him anything, if that's what you wanna know. I figured we, you and me, kinda have to talk before I can talk to him", she continued. He looked back at her and looked as if he was more than satisfied with her decision, it was clear that he was more important than Joey for her now. 

"So, what do you wanna do, Ross?", Rachel asked rather shy. Ross smiled brightly and walked over to her. "This", he said right before he kissed her. Their arms wrapped around each other and they sunk in the kiss once again, they just loved kissing each other, it felt so... right. And good, really good. After a few minutes they broke the kiss, relutantly, and looked at each other for a bit, but not being able to stop giving each other small soft kisses. "How's that for you?" he asked, still in between kisses. "Really" paused for a kiss "good", she replied. They giggled and hugged tight, kissing each other's shoulder, neck or ear every now and then. 

Their "flirting" (for the lack of a better word!) was quickly broken by Emma crying though. "You gotta be kidding me", Ross said jokingly as they broke their hug. Rachel smiled back at him and looked at her watch. "She's just hungry", she said. "Well, so am I", he replied, pulling her close for a final kiss before she went into the room. He looked after her, smiling from ear to ear, so happy he couldn't feel his feet. Then he realised something was burning in the kitchen and got there just in time to save his and Rachel's dinner. 

Rachel hadn't been happy like that since... actually, she's never been that happy before. She was rocking her baby girl as she breastfed her, mother and child connection once again getting stronger, and the man of her life was cooking them dinner. Oh, there he was, standing on the doorway, giving her one of those looks she knew she'd remember till the day she died. Some of those just stuck in her memory. Then he approached them, pulled a chair and sat just across from Rachel, not taking his his off of the beautiful scene he saw before him. Rachel blushed a little. He had seen her do that before but yet this time was different. He had this undescribeable (sp?) look on his face that just made her feel completely naked. She liked that feeling though, she had missed it. 

After a while her eyes caught the ring she had previously placed on Emma's changer, right after she had found out the truth behind it, and she felt the need to once again talk about the whole thing. "So, hm, what are we gonna do about Joey?", Rachel asked softy, a bit afraid that it could ruin their moment. "I- I had figured you'd break off the engagement..." he said, with a tone of sadness on his voice now. "But hey, it's your choice. I'm not gonna stand on the way of anything", he finished. "Hey-hey, this is not what I meant. Yes, the engagement is off... But how should I tell him, when should I tell him?", she asked. He looked at her for a while. "I don't know, tomorrow?". "No, no, I can't break his heart with such short notice!", she said. He looked at her confused for a while. 

"So you wanna go on with this, for how long?" he was clearily frustrated and starting to get jealous aswell. "Ross, you didn't see just how upset he was when he told me he loved me and I didn't say it back" He looked down. "I don't wanna hurt him again" "Well, he hurt me, Rachel. He shouldn't have asked you to marry him" Ross said in his defense. Just then Rachel remembered that she hadn't told Ross yet how she realised that Joey never planned on doing it and that it was just an accident she misunderstood. "Ross, I-" she started, just before she felt a sharp pain on the breast Emma was sucking on. "Ouch, baby", she said with a painful smile. Ross chuckled. "She's that strong?" "She's that hungry", she corrected him, smiling. 

Ross approached a little more and kissed Rachel's forehead. "Alright, you take as much time as you need to figure this out, okay?", he said. She kept smiling at him, glad Ross had matured enough to give her that much space. "Thank you", she whispered. He softly kissed her lips and then planted another one on Emma's hair. "You think daddy can burp her and tuck her in when she's done?", he asked sweetly. She smiled a lot. "Please", she answered with a cute laughter. They kissed once again and then just watched their daughter for a long time. 

  
**Next chapter**


	3. Chapter three

**- Can't fight the night -  
** ::: chapter 3 :::

Rachel was having an early breakfast that day when Monica entered the apartment for her morning visits for her and Emma. Since the baby was still too young to go out much, the members of the gang went to visit them in shifts. Monica was there every morning, she would usually bring breakfast and lunch for Rachel. Phoebe would come over not so late after, sometimes she even bumped into Mon there. She always brought her guitar to play something for Emma or sometimes gave Rachel a free massage. Chandler came over on her freaklishly long break from work, he'd bring his computer and annoy Rachel with stuff on the Internet and with his never ending joke sessions. She'd still love it though, it was Chandler after all. And Joey, as mentioned before, would come before Ross got home from work. 

"Goodmorning, Rachel", Monica greeted her friend as she walked through the door. "Hey, Mon" Rachel greeted back, with a mouth full of pancakes with blueberry syrup. Monica was surprised Rachel was already eating, she usually waited for Mon to come home, no matter how hungry she got. "You're eating", she commented the obvious. Rachel smiled at the table full of treats Ross had prepared for her before he left for work. "Seems like it!", she joked. "Did you cook?", Monica said as she sat down on the table and placed the basket she brought next to a bowl full of fruits. "Yeah, right", Rachel answed, sarcastically, with a huge smile on her face. "Ross made it for me" 

"Wow, I didn't know he could cook this well. But, I mean, it's not better than mine, right?" Monica could become very pissy when it came to food or competing. Put those two together and you might have an idea of just how pissy she got! "Of course not, Mon! Your food is the best" Rachel replied, like a reflex response. Monica made a shy and flattered expression, almost looking like a little girl who's just being told she was pretty. Rachel smiled at Monica for a while, wondering how she should tell her about she and Ross. They had talked about telling other people on the previous night and had agreed on telling just Monica and Chandler, after all they'd need people to talk to about it. And besides, if they ever needed to leave Emma with a couple so they could go out, Monica and Chandler were surely the ones who they'd turn to, specially because they had been trying to have a baby themselves. 

"What-what's that look on your face?", Monica asked, looking at Rachel pretty suspeciously. Rachel smiled more, it was impossible to hide just how happy she was, wasn't it? "Is it obvious?" "Tell me!!" Monica was getting curious and excited in advance. Rachel bit her botton lip and dropped her silverwear, resting her both elbows on the table. "Your brother and I are back together", she said simply. Monica was clearily shocked, she wasn't expecting this. Sure everyone had been praying for those two, but after a while they figured maybe nothing was really going to happen between them again. She was so happy for her best friend and brother. 

"Oh my God, Rachel!" she praticly screamed. Rachel laughed and shushed her. "If you wake Emma up I'm gonna kill you!", she warned, smiling. "Oh, I'm so happy for you guys.. finally!" Monica approached Rachel while saying this and hugged her, genuinelly happy for her. "Wait a minute", she quickly broke the hug, "What about Joey?" Rachel sighed. "Yeah, about that... long night last night, you better sit down." Monica looked confused but sat down anyway. "Hm, the ring Joey proposed me with was actually your brother's, he was the one who was going to propose to me. The whole thing with Joey was a misunderstanding", Rachel explained. 

"Wai-wai-wait a minute", Monica said. "Ross was going to propose?" "Aparently..." Monica was definitely surprised. "And Joey wasn't?" "Yeah, I think a little accident happened there and I misunderstood what he wanted. But now that I said yes to him, I just don't know what to do, Mon. So Ross and I decided not to tell anyone besides you and Chandler about us just untill I can solve this whole thing with Joey", she finished explaining. "Sure, alright, you don't wanna be too sudden with Joey, that really would crush him. I mean, he does love you after all" Rachel just gave her a sad smile and Monica regret saying it, of course Rachel knew it. "Hey, but you and Ross, wow, that's great news", she said trying to make it up. 

"Really great news", Rachel said, smiling content again. Monica smiled at her best friend once more before moving on. "'Kay, I also brought you lunch though, as usual. My specialty: duck confit with broccoli rabe". "Aw, Mon, thanks, but Ross is taking me out today, we're going to that diner around the corner, it's always pretty calm during lunch so it's okay if we take Emma, right?" "You're turning my duck down to have lunch in a diner?!" Monica said, pretty offended, putting a lot of emphasis on the last word. "I just wanna go out, Mon...!" Rachel tried to argue. "Then have my duck at a park or something!" Rachel smiled. "That's not a bad idea, actually. Then I wouldn't have to worry about anyone smoking around Emma", she pointed it out. "As long as you don't turn my duck down for a hamburger we're fine!" Rachel laughed. 

Soon Monica was out, Phoebe was in and Rachel controled herself not to let anything about she and Ross slip out in the conversation. Emma kinda helped her with that, being crabby and messy on her bath, dirtying her diapers about three times and refusing to go to sleep after Rachel fed her. Surprising considering sleeping was still pretty much all she could do all day. "That and the nasty stuff", Rachel thought with a smile. Phoebe didn't take as long as she usually did though, right after she helped Rachel bathing Emma she had to go 'cause she had a client waiting for a massage. So Rachel had spare time to get things set up for her and Ross in their little picnic. 

When Ross got home he went straight to Emma's room, almost sure he'd find Rachel there. Instead, though, he found the baby alone in her crib, again, surprisingly, awake, reaching out with her tiny hands to her colorful mobile hung over her. Ross couldn't help but letting out an "aww" sound at his daughter. She noticed his presence and he could tell she knew who it was, her daddy. "Aren't you smart, Ems?" Ross whispered softly, stroking her tiny belly and leaning over to softly kiss her hair. "Aww, what a beautiful scene" Rachel said from the doorway. Ross turned around to look at her and they smiled at each other. 

"And how's my other baby, did she sleep well?", he asked. She approached him and they kissed. "Really well", she replied with a smile. "So, did you talk to Monica?" "Yup" "What did she say?" Rachel smiled more, stroking his back with her arms that were still wrapped around his waist. "Really well, she's pretty happy for us" "So am I", he said. She brought one of her hands to his cheek while she approached her face next to his and they brushed their lips against each other's. "Thank you for breakfast, it was delicious" Ross smiled more. "Was Monica jealous?" "Very much", she answered, also smiling. 

Rachel looked into the crib and saw Emma wide awake. "Aw, you're really not tired today, are you sweetie?", Rachel whispered to her baby. "Has she not been sleeping today?", Ross asked, turning his atention back to his daughter. "Not as much as usual. But she's being good today. Well, ever since her bath, but that's gotta be a record or something!" Ross chuckled. "'Kay, I'm gonna go get ready so we can leave. Oh, and Monica gave me a better idea. She couldn't understand how we'd turn her food down to go have a burger at the diner, so she suggested we took her food to a park or something to eat, which is actually good 'cause then we won't have to worry much about Emma, you know?" she said. "Sure, whatever you want". They kissed softly once more before Rachel went to get dressed. 

She tried on pretty much everything she had in her closet but nothing seemed to please her. The clothes she used to wear before the pregnancy were still too tight around her waist and the ones she wore when she was big were indeed very big, too big for her now. Lately at home all she had worn were sweat pants, they're always so comfortable, but they're not the kind of thing she had in mind to use on her "first date" with Ross in a long time. But there was also the clothes she wore she was not yet big, around her 4th month into the pregnancy, but those were all dressed up clothes for work, nothing apropriated for a park. She sighed heavily, she hated it when she couldn't find anything she wanted to wear. "I need to go shopping", she thought to herself. 

Meanwhile Ross was finishing packing Emma a bag so they could take with them, including a few diapers, some products, toys... pretty much all of her baby survival kit! He even changed her into more comfortable clothes and put her on her baby carrier, she was all set to go now. But he knew Rachel would still need some time to finish getting ready, she hadn't changed a bit. After he was done with Emma, he set her carrier on her changer table and noticed the ring Rachel had once again forgotten there. He wondered for a while before taking it. "I'm all ready to go", Rachel said behind his back and made him startle. "Okay then, let-let's go" 

At the park everything was going well, Emma was being a good baby, the food was delicious, they didn't forget anything and Rachel had surprisingly forgotten the deal about her clothes. She felt so natural around Ross that sometimes she forgot how she was looking, she knew he'd love her no matter how she looked. They were sat under a big tree at Central Park, having just finished having lunch and just enjoying the moment. Ross still had a couple of hours off before he had another class to teach at NYU, so they weren't on a rush there. 

Ross kept watching Rachel as he held little Emma. Rachel was just putting their things back into the basket she had brought, same one Monica took to her place that morning. If someone had told Ross a couple of years before that he'd be there at that moment with Rachel and their baby he wouldn't believe it. And yet there he was. He wondered if he should ask Rachel to marry him right there, he had put the ring quickly in his pocket before they left and this seemed like a perfect moment. The day was clear, with a perfect weather- not too hot yet not cold- they were sat right next to a flower bed, from where he had previously picked up one to give her, they were together, they were happy, she knew he was going to propose at the hospital anyway... But then he remembered technically she was still engaged, and not to him. So he dropped it and decided not to think about it for now, it would only spoil his great mood. 

"Alright, all set here", Rachel said, putting the basket aside. She noticed the loving look on Ross' eyes and blushed. "What?" "Nothing. I was just thinking how lucky I am, that's all" he answered in the sweetest way possible. She blushed even more and approached them. "Ems, honey, at least for now you're gonna have to get used to this lovey-dovey stuff, alright? It's part of every beginning" she joked, looking down at Emma and then up at Ross, giving him a quick kiss. "Beginning? So you don't think I was this sweet with you after a while when we were together?", he asked. "Nope, no one can stand it, Ross. Well, I know I can't, and you knew just when to easy down on it, perfect timing" 

"Okay then", he said, shrugging his shoulders in a gooffy way. She smiled more, she loved it when he did those things, he could be so cute sometimes... Yet, she remembered, he also knew when to be strong and rough. She had to stop herself from giggling out loud at her memories. They stayed there for another twenty minutes or so, both cuddling with Emma, simply enjoying that moment. They decided to stop by Central Perk after that, where the rest of the gang would most likely be, so that Emma could meet the place her parents hung out and shared their first kiss. 

"Hi everyone", Rachel said in a baby voice as if it was Emma speaking when she and Ross entered the coffee house with the baby. "Aww, look who's here" Monica said already straightening her arms to hold her niece. Rachel smiled and handed the baby to Monica. "Hi Aunt Monica", Monica also mimicked Emma, smiling down at her. Chandler got closer to Monica and just watched them with a smile, lately he and Monica had realised really just how much they wanted and were ready for a child. Ross looked around and noticed Joey wasn't around and Monica noticed. "Joey's not here, he's working. Believe it not lately he's been taking some things more seriously", she mentioned. 

Chandler looked up at Ross and Rachel and smiled. Since Phoebe wasn't there either they could talk about the whole thing without worries. "So I hear two people here finally stopped being so stubborn and got back together", he said. Ross and Rachel smiled at each other and quickly put their arms around each other, "Pretty much". "There you go, a couple we can hang out with! Who needs Greg and Jenny?!" Chandler said to Mon, excitedly. They were still recovering from the couple they met on their honneymoon that gave them a fake number, with whom they thought they could hang out. 

"Okay, easy there, Chandler, we just got back together and we have Emma. I don't wanna start with the boring things just yet, we still have a lot to enjoy before we get to this phase, alright?", Rachel joked, her arms still wrapped around Ross' body. Ross laughed and kissed her softly. "You heard the lady", he said. "Dude, who wears the pants in this relationship?" Chandler mocked him. "Do you" emphasis on the you "really wanna start with that?" Ross laughed, Monica could be a pain when it came to just about anything, always bossing people around. Poor Chandler...! He kinda waited for a sarcastic response from his wife but got none. He turned to look at her and found her still deeply centered with Emma. "We really need a child!" he said excited at the new found utility of a baby. 

Ross and Rachel laughed at his comment, Monica was still too out of it to listen. Ross set Emma's carried on the table, her bag resting in the place you put the baby in, and sad on the arm chair. Rachel sat down on his lap, like they always did when they were together. "God old times", they thought. But much better now, they had Emma and everything would hopefully work this time. Chandler looked at them and then turned to Monica. "You know, you never sat on my lap" Monica looked up at him with a funny look. "You really wanna get into that now?", she said. Chandler looked frustrated and turned to Ross and Rachel again. "Aparently I'm just supposed to stay quiet today then". "Oh, please", Rachel said, mocking. 

"I don't know what you're complaining about anyway, you sat on our dad's lap", Ross commented. Chandler's eyes whidened up. "Du-ude! Is that never talking about it again- ever??", he asked while both girls were laughing so hard they barely noticed Phoebe and Joey walking in. When Rachel noticed she only had time to get off of Ross' lap and sit on the chair next to him, still pretty close though. Ross looked confused at her and then noticed Joey and Phoebe. "He-hey, guys", he said. Rachel smiled nervously and reached out her arms in Monica's direction "'Kay, come to mommy, Ems". "Hey, look who's here!", Phoebe said excited about the baby, who was now resting with Rachel and Ross. 

"Hey guys!", Rachel said in a baby voice again. Joey smiled sweetly and once again stood there for a while just looking and thinking. Ross, Rachel and Emma were such a pretty family together. He felt really guilty about how she felt about Rachel everytime he realised that. But then he thought about Ross and Rachel's past and... what if they never worked again? Even when it did work they would fight a lot, that couldn't be good for the baby. So maybe it was a good thing he and Rachel were getting married, he thought. He would make sure nothing would upset her, he'd do anything for her. And Emma wouldn't be bothered with fights at home, she's be happy. "Yeah, it'll be a good thing", he concluded. 

  


**End of chapter 3**


	4. Chapter four

**- Can't fight the night -  
** ::: chapter 4 :::

Rachel woke up in the middle of the night with Emma crying in the nursery. She moaned and turned her lamp on to have a look at the clock rested on her nightstand. "3 a.m., great" she mumbled sitting up on her bed. She was so tired she had to get all of the strengh she had left to stand up and put her slippers on. She took a deep breath and approached the nursery, passing by Ross' bedroom on the way. He had a late night on the previous day and would have to get up very early, so she shouldn't expect much of his help tonight. 

They had been together for about two weeks now but were still taking things very slowly, specially because Emma would take up most of their time. Things were definitely different than when they were together before, kind of a given, and that was somewhat something they were going to have to get used to. Sometimes, though, it was hard, they couldn't do many of the things they did before because now they had so many responsabilities that they couldn't allow themselves to be irracional. "Things will never be the same again", she thought. 

She reached Emma's crib and took her in her arms, starting to pace around, slowly rocking her and whispering loving words while shushing softly. "Shhh, don't cry, sweetie, mommy's here. Are you hungry, Emma?" The baby just kept on crying and Rachel sat on the rocking chair, unbottoning her pyjamas shirt with her free hand while the other arm held Emma close. Soon she was quiet and her tears quickly dried away. Rachel looked down at her and almost couldn't believe that one minute before that little person was driving her close to a break down. 

A long time went by like this, the only noise that could be heard was the rocking chair softly "singing". It was the perfect moment for Rachel to give her whole life a long deep thought. She had tried talking to Joey once or twice before to break off the engagement, but everytime she did something came up, like the duck and the chick or something at the studio. For some reason she remembered just how terrible she was feeling the day Emma was born, when she thought Ross would really leave them eventually, and just how caring Joey was with her. She smiled a little, she was so lucky to have such great friend. 

"Would things be better if I loved him back?", she wondered. Sure, Ross would be crushed, and yes she indeed loved him and didn't want that to happen. She quickly put that thought aside, like it was forbidden. She and Ross had talked a lot lately about what happened at the hospital and he confessed that he was scared of getting back together, of proposing to her in the first place. He said he was afraid things wouldn't work out like before and they would end up hurting Emma. Ever since that, that thought slowly started entering her mind aswell and she felt each day more scared of hurting her baby. Her parents were divorced and she knew how hard it was, she surely didn't want to put Emma through that. 

Should she never date again to keep her baby away from that? Should she stop living her life? No, that's not the right way to go either, she thought. Some people make huge sacrifices for their kids, turn their back on love, she wondered if maybe she was one of them. "But Ross is a great daddy. And maybe things will end up working for us..." She stayed there for a long time, hundreds of thoughts crossing her mind, full of doubts and fears. Sure her lack of sleep was affecting her sanity aswell. She just rocked the chair, Emma already fast asleep, and let some tears rolls down her cheek... 

"Goodmorning, beautiful" she heard the voice far-far away as she slept, but well enough to recognise it was Ross'. He smiled at his girlfriend and kissed her cheek softly. She stirred a little and opened her eyes quickly just to have a look at him, smiling a little. "Hi", she said very softly, almost unable to being heard. "You going to work?", she asked. "Yeah, but I shouldn't be home late again tonight, alright?" he said, kissing her softly. She quickly pulled him onto the bed and both giggled, embracing themselves in a deep kiss. "Hmm, what was that for?", he asked, smiling and stroking her hair. "Goodmorning" "I'm afraid I'm gonna need another one for a good day at work then" They smiled at each other even more and kissed again, this time much more deeply, their hands travelling on each other's body. 

"Alright, I'll see you later", he said, getting up from her bed. "Go back to sleep and sorry I woke up" They kissed softly again. "I can live with it", she grinned, laying back down on bed and curlying herself on her blankets. "Lucky blankets", he thought. "Bye sweetie", she said. Just as he was about to leave through the doorway, Emma started crying again. Before Rachel could make any move to get up, Ross turned to her and said "It's not time for her to eat again, so just stay there, I'll take care of her, don't worry". Rachel smiled and nodded, blowing him a kiss and closing her eyes. 

She woke up again a couple of hours later and decided to get up, she had slept a lot that day considering the previous few weeks. First thing she did was go check on Emma and found her asleep with one of her dinosaur teddies resting next to her tiny body. Rachel smiled and left the nursery, her stomach almost being able to wake the baby up. She entered the livingroom and found Monica reading a magazine. "Hey Monica" "Hi sleeping beauty", Monica answered jokingly. "Made it up for all the sleep you missed since Emma was born, huh?" "I wish", Rachel said. "Well, I got to assist her twice today" Rachel turned to look at Monica. "God, I really needed that sleep then. Thanks, Mon" 

"No prob, I practiced a little after all", she said with a smile. Rachel smiled back. "So how's it going?", she asked, obviously regarding about the wished pregnancy. "Well, we're trying. Hopefully soon little Emma will have a cousin" "Aw, they can be best friends too! Have a girl, Mon" Monica smiled at her and chuckled. "I'll try" Rachel sat down and started having breakfast, this time one made by Monica, as they kept on chatting. "Got any plans for today?", Monica asked. "Sure, I'm gonna fight crime and hopefully I'll be home soon enough to watch this fashion show on t.v.", Rachel replied sarcastically. Monica chuckled at her friend's joke. "We could go shopping", she suggested. Rachel raised her eyebrows, obviously interested. 

  
  
Joey was wandering around the baby session at Bloomingdale's. It was still very early so there weren't many people around, mostly some mommies with their new borns or women he could only assume that were pregnant. Sometimes, out of the blue, Joey would show up at Rachel's with a present for Emma, and tonight was going to be one of those times. He grabbed a toy from a shelve and kept looking curiously at it. "What the hell does this do?", he asked himself. Soon the toy started shaking and making freaky sounds, so Joey threw it away, startled. "Jesus, how are kids supposed to play with that?" He disserted, still startled and scared, like a little boy. 

"Okay, forget about toys, let's just see clothes", he thought, approaching the side of the department where they kept all the baby clothes. He didn't notice at first, but a familiar face watched him for a while, as if wondering if that was really Joey Tribbiani. "Joey?" a beautiful woman asked approaching him. She was about Joey's height, a little shorter, had curly honey hair and pretty green eyes. Joey looked surprised at her. "Kate? Kate Miller??" "Yes! Hm, how are you, how have you been?", she asked. "I've been... okay" "I see you're back in _'Days of our lives'_, that's great!" she sounded really happy for him. "Yeah, it- it's great" 

He kept looking at the woman he once loved so much. Joey met Kate a few years ago, when they were in a play together. She played his husband and they would constantly get in arguments, not at first realising it was because of the intense sexual tension there was between them. She was dating the director of the play, but once they got really bad reviews on the opening night they broke up and Kate surrended to the love he found on Joey. They had had a few nights before that but she was too afraid of letting someone who actually liked her be with her. And when she finally let that happen, she took a job in L.A. and left Joey broken hearted. 

"Hm, is it- is it to your baby?", she asked, pointing to a pair of pink shoes he was holding. He got back to reality and didn't quite know what to say. "Oh, no, no, it's for uh, Rachel's baby. You know Rachel, one of my friends, she uh, she had a baby, with uh, with Ross" he was so nervous he couldn't speak right. "Oh", she said softly, showing a bit of relief. He looked at her for a while. "How about you, what are you doing here? Shopping for your baby or what?" "Hm, no, it's actually my niece. You know my brother Bruce just got married, they have a baby too and uh, well, I'm meeting her today at the hospital" 

"So you're still living in California, huh?", he asked, kinda hurt to bring it up. "Actually... no. I moved back a couple of months ago. Hollywood suddenly became too big for me" She looked down quickly and took a breath. "So uh, Joey, I was wondering-" she began, but was shortly broken by him, who was gazing at another point further away. "Oh no", he whispered. "What?", she turned around to see what he was looking at and saw two women, who she assumed that were Monica and Rachel, approaching, pushing a stroller with a baby in it. "Are those your friends?", she asked. "Yup, that's them" 

Monica was getting tired of holding all of Rachel's shopping bags. Man, she certainly knew how to spend her pay check in a heart beat! But since it was her idea to go out and she was indeed much stronger than Rachel, she didn't complain and just kept following her. "What else could you possibly want for Emma? She's got everything, Rach", Mon commented. "Well, you know that little flowered dress you gave her? She doesn't have shoes to go with it", she said. Monica rolled her eyes and followed. Rachel noticed and shot her a look "You know I'm not gonna let my daughter wear just anything! Fashion is something to be learned from now, right Ems?" 

"Hey, isn't that Joey?", Monica said. Joey waved back and Rachel noticed Kate standing next to him. "Isn't that that girl who was in that play with him? And they fell in love but she moved to L.A.?" she asked. "Oh, right, I think that's her. She looks good" Rachel didn't quite know why, but Monica's comment upset her a little. Maybe because since Emma had been born she hadn't felt so atractive herself... They approached Joey and Kate anyway. 

"Hi Joey, what are you doing here?", Monica asked, giving his friend a little hug. He looked down at the baby shoes he was still holding and at all the girls. "I was just picking out something for little Emma" He looked down at the baby "You like this, kiddo?" Rachel smiled a little and looked at Kate. "Hey", she said softly. Joey looked nervously at Rachel and then at Kate, the two loves of his life, without knowing what to do. Ohh, if only he could run out, as he usually did...! But no, he had to stay there and make sure the engagement thing didn't slip to Kate. He didn't know why he wanted that so much, but he had to make sure Kate didn't know anything about him and Rachel no matter what. 

"You guys remember Kate, right?", he said. "Sure, you were in that play with Joey. Hi, I'm Monica!", Mon said, shaking hands with Kate. "Rachel", Rach said right after, getting Monica's lead and also shaking hands with Kate. "Right, Joey was just telling me about the baby and all, congratulations", Kate said. Joey froze and Rachel's knees trembled a little. She couldn't believe Joey had told Kate, one of the possible loves of his life, about the engagement. Yup, that's what she got from Kate's comment. "Thank you", she said politely and then looked down at her baby. 

"And what are you two doing here?", Joey said, desperately wanting to change the subject. "Oh, I was just bored so Monica took me out for shopping. Then I thought I could also get some stuff for Emma" Then Rachel quickly looked at her watch and remembered Ross was going to call soon "But we better get going now, we still have a lot to do today. Emma hasn't been this calm before like ever, I'm afraid soon she'll get bored and get all fussy, so-" "Sure-sure, just go then", Joey said. Rachel looked a little hurt at that, noticing he really wanted her to leave, and left with Monica after a quick goodbye to Joey and Kate. "So Joey, you think maybe we could get a cup of coffee later?"... 

  



	5. Chapter five

**- Can't fight the night -  
** ::: chapter 5 :::

Rachel stood alone in front of the mirror in her room and couldn't help but feeling like a teenager. An insecure teenager. She looked down at her stomach, one that once used to be so flat and now... "It's just the pregnancy, Rachel", she thought to herself. She looked at the rest of her body while images of beautiful models flashed in her mind. "I'll never be that beautiful" 

Looking back, this kind of thing never bothered Rachel before. She had always been happy about her body and looks, always very secure of herself. She was very popular in high school, she had always had "the" haircut, the right clothes, a great skin... And grew up feeling just as confortable with herself. She had never been overweight or had acne problems, nor thought less of herself because of someone else. Sure, being cheated on in her prom night didn't quite do any good for her ego, but it was something she was able to over come without much trouble. This time it was different. Baby blues? 

The door slowly opened and she could see who it was through the mirror. Ross stood there for a while, looking at her lovingly. "What are you doing?", he asked softly. "Nothing" They kept staring at each other through the mirror, her back turned to him, who was still standing on the doorway. He slowly approached and wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her shoulder. Again they kept looking at each other in their reflection, seeing what a great couple they made. "You're so beautiful", he whispered in her ear and kissed her neck. She smiled weakly, it was like he was reading her mind. 

"So you don't think I look fat?", she asked. "Oh sweetie, no, I don't. You just had a baby, it's perectly normal for you to feel this way." he replied assuringly. "And if it makes you feel any better", he turned her around to look directly into her eyes "...you've never looked sexier than you look now, to me". Rachel blushed a lot, wrapping her arms around him. "Really?" "Oh my God", he answered, with a killing smile. She smiled brightly at him and kissed him deeply. He kissed her back with just as much passion, things starting to heat up. 

Part of their "taking it slow" included not having sex, but at this point both simply forgot about that and let themselves surrender to the pleasure. She wasn't quite sure if her body was ready for it already, but nothing seemed to matter anymore, she should just pray for Emma to be a good girl and not wake up in the next- hopefully many- minutes. "Oh, it was a long shot", she thought just as a high squeaky cry came from her daughter's room. They broke the kiss, frustrated, and looked at each other. "Does she have a radar or something?", he asked. She smiled at him and they kissed once again before leaving together to the nursery. 

Ross was the one who got Emma on his arms, checking if the problem was a dirty diaper. "Yup, big time", he said with a disgusted look. Rachel chuckled and approached the changer with him. "Don't worry sweetie, mommy and daddy will get you out of these diapers, just hold on, okay? Yeah, I know you hate it, it's nasty, ain't that right, Ems? But you're a brave girl, aren't you? Yeah, daddy, I am" Ross kept saying in a baby voice, making Rachel laugh even more. "You've got a crazy dad there, sweetie" Ross shot her a funny look and she kissed his cheek. 

"Alright, prepare" he said opening Emma's diaper. Rachel looked away, disgusted, even though by now she was used to it. But since Ross was doing it this time, she could make a big scene, she thought. Quickly he put the dirty diaper away, cleaned her up and put a brand new clean diaper on the baby. Rachel watched just how gentle he was to their daughter with a cute smile on her face. "'Kay, here we go. That wasn't so bad, huh?", he said holding Emma close. She was much more calm now, just making her cute sounds while her daddy rocked her gently. 

Rachel sat on the rocking chair while Ross kept pacing around with Emma. Seemed like her life lately wasn't going anywhere, it all came down to that. Everytime she had time to breath she found herself sat in that very same chair after the very same long exaustive day. It wasn't a bad thing, but it certainly had come down to a routine. Everyday the same actions, the same people... "Maybe this is it", she thought. All her life she feared something like this happening, having a life se could totally predict. It was one of the reasons why she ran out on Barry, a guy she left at the altar, and was also what caused a discussion between Ross and herself when they were together in the past. 

But now that she had that predictive life, it didn't seem that bad. She knew she had to change it soon though, there were some arrangements to be done... but it somehow felt like she was afraid of losing that routine, 'cause it was starting to feel safe. She'd have to break the engagement off with Joey, go back to work, have some time away from her daughter, who by now was her rock. What would those changes really bring her? Would it be as perfect as it looked when she first thought about it? Or would there be drastic consequences? Oh, if only there was a magic ball where you could see your future...! 

"Okay, first I was confused, then I was sad, then I was happy, then tired, then insecure, then happy again and now here I am wondering what my future holds. If this is not an emotional rollercoaster then I don't know what is!", she thought to herself. But one thing is for sure, the one feeling that never left her was confusion, there were too many questions in her head. She wished things were much simpler and, sometimes, she even wished she didn't care so much about what the consequences would bring to other people. But if you love those people then there's no way of not caring...! Dead end road, there she was once again. There are no answers, sometimes you just have to hurt people you love, it's the way things go. 

Ross smiled down at Emma, who was sleeping peacefully now and looked at Rachel, who looked deep into thoughts. Since Emma was born Rachel hasn't been the same and he could see it clearily. He figured it was a phase, she was always sleep deprived and plus there was also the whole mess concerning Joey and his ring. When that was solved and Emma was old enough to sleep an intire night she'd go back to the old Rachel, always cheerful and with a new gossip to tell, he thought. 

She noticed his look and quickly snapped back to a reality that, putting the whole wedding thing aside, was much better than her thoughts. If for a moment she could forget her worries (or actually solve them for good), she could actually be happy for having her man finally with her, as caring and wonderful as before, and her beautiful baby girl. And surprisingly she actually managed to erase it from her mind long enough to be happy as she hasn't been in a while. When she and Ross got back together she was happy, yes, but, maybe from having so much spare time, her silly worries haunted her like never before. When you don't have much to do it's amazing how many small things can bother you so much. 

She got up from the chair and hugged Ross' waist, pressing herself against him and the baby's back. She kissed Emma's hair and Ross kissed hers, it was a really beautiful scene. She looked up at him and they kissed softly, but kinda like someone who wants more. They looked into each other's eyes for a long time, it almost looked like they were sharing confidences or love promises. He leaned his forehead on hers and whispered "I love you". "I love you too", she whispered back. It was the first time they were saying that to each other since the night when they realised they still belonged together... but it was so obvious and natural that it felt like they said it everytime they kissed or even looked at each other. There was no need to say it, they knew it. But, well, it's always great to actually hear these two magic words...! 

Ross let go of Rachel long enough to set Emma on the crib. Then he grabbed Rachel's hand and pulled her out, taking her to his bedroom. When they entered they slowly wrapped their arms around each other, kissing softly for a long time. If something was going to happen, it should be enjoyed properly, every second of it savoured like it was their first and last time. They acted like everything there had a meaning, nothing was done just for the sake of it. Their kisses were sweet, full of emotions behind them, their tongues softly caressing the other's. They broke the kiss and looked at each other for a while, both smiling and already sinking into the crazy magic feeling they got everytime they kissed like that. He approached the stereo and put on a CD, "This deserves something special", he said. She smiled and sat down on his bed, as a familiar song came up. Rachel giggled when it started playing "_Strangers in the night_?". He smiled at her and offered to take her hand and dance with her. "May I have the honor of this dance?" She smiled and gave him her hand, getting up and wrapping her arms around him, him doing them same, as Frank Sinatra spoke for them. 

_"Strangers in the night exchanging glances, wandering in the night. What were the chances we'd be sharing love before the night was through?"_

"This is how I felt the night we got back together...", he whispered in her ear. She smiled at him and nodded, whispering back "Me too". They kissed softly and hugged again, dancing very slowly. 

_"Something in your eyes was so inviting, something in your smile was so exciting, something in my heart told me I must have you. Strangers in the night, two lonely people, we were strangers in the night up to the moment when we said our first hello, little did we know, love was just a glance away, warm embracing dance away..."_

Rachel felt so safe that moment, she was so happy that was happening. He knew just exactly what to do, didn't he? He could be so romantic sometimes, without overreacting. It was like a perfect combination, good enough to make her feel loved- she loved that feeling- but yet not scared. He held her close and all she could feel was his perfect arms around her, his breathing, his breath, his warmth. It was a perfect feeling. 

_"And ever since that night we've been together, lovers at first sight, in love forever, it turned out so right for strangers in the night. Love was just a glance away, warm embracing, dance away. Eversince that night we've been together, lovers at first sight, in love forever, it turned out so right for strangers in the night..."_

They broke the hug a little to look at each other. He almost couldn't believe that was happening. His high school crush, his biggest fantasy, the woman of his life, mother of his daughter... she was so many things for him he could go on and on. But, most of all, she was the woman she loved, the one and only. She put one of her hands on his cheek and caressed it. He leaned down and tried to give her the best kiss she's ever had, one of those only he knew how she loved. By the look on her face it was obvious he did a pretty good job. They were so much in love it's hard putting it down in words. 

They moved it to the bed, not taking their arms or lips off of each other, and laid down, starting to slowly run their hands through each other's body. And, well, the rest of it just flew very naturally. They were very familiar the other's body and needs, so they knew exactly what to do and how. At the end their needs were completely satisfied, both physical and emotional. They laid down next to each other without being able to take their eyes off of each other, smiling and wondering when little Emma would decide their time was up. Rachel kissed him softly one last time and whispered "Thank you". He smile back at her and started stroking her hair softly. "Well, thank you too". They smiled at each other and cuddled even more, closing their eyes and hoping to relax a little more. 

**End of chapter 5**


	6. Chapter six

**- Can't fight the night -  
** ::: chapter 6 :::

Rachel was finishing applying her make up on, leaning closer to the mirror as she checked her eyes one last time. It was her first time out with Ross -or anyone!- since little Emma was born. Well, actually, way before that! She was excited about it and having been able to fit in one of her old dresses sure brightened up her mood even more. She had been dieting a little since the birth and by now you could easily tell the difference. "Thank God for t.v. gym shows", she thought. Judy Geller, Ross' mom, had come from Long Island just to take care of her granddaughter. They hadn't told her anything about their dating, but you could say she knew someone was up, so she came right away. "Anything to help those two!" 

"Rachel, you ready?", Ross asked from the other side of the door, knocking a bit unpatient. "We gotta leave soon if we wanna come back early for Emma", he added. "I'll be right out, Ross" she replied, still taking her time. Her hair was down, with a few golden curls, and her make up was very light. Rachel was always sophisticated, but never the slutty type of girl. Her dress was a very simple and yet beautiful black one, nothing too under or over dressed, they were just going to have dinner in an italian place near by with Monica and Chandler. 

"Okay, ready to go", she said to herself, opening a drawer and shoving all of her make up products in there, except for the lipstick she was using, which she put in her tiny handbag. "Wow", Ross murmured as she came out of the bathroom. She smiled and just passed by him, going right into Emma's bedroom. He slowly turned around to look after her, being careful for his mom not to notice it. "So what time are you two coming back?", Judy asked. "Oh, probably very early, you know, because of Emma. We won't take long" "Take your time, dear, I'm not dense when it comes to babies, so you shouldn't be worried about that", she commented. "Oh, it's not Emma we're worried about", he answered with a smile. 

"It's Geller, Ross Geller. We're meeting Chandler Bing", Ross said to the host at the restaurant once they arrived. "They're already waiting for you, sir. Follow me", he said as he entered the table area with Ross and Rachel following, hands linked on each other's. "Finally", Monica said to them, shooting them a look. "Blame her", Ross said, pointing to Rachel, as both sat down on the table. "Oh no, not me this time, Emma", Rachel defended herself. "Wow, so now you can use that excuse everytime you take too long getting dressed too?" Chandler joked. Ross chuckled "Aparently". Rachel shoot them a look, but ignored. 

The waiter approached them with a menu and soon their orders were taken and they were free to chat as much as they wanted. At first there was no surprise on the topics they reached: stuff concerning Emma, Monica's wished pregnancy, relationships... a documentary on new fossils found in South Africa, the advances of technology, the new spring collection and how long the food was taking to arrive here and there! It felt really good for the four of them not having to be with people they didn't know well to be with another couple. So they weren't there just as friends, or just as couples, and that just felt much more right than any other time they went out together before. 

"Hey, isn't that Joey over there with that girl?", Ross pointed up. Rachel quickly looked a few tables away and realised it was Kate, same girl who she and Monica had run into a week earlier when they were shopping. Monica instantly turned to look at Rachel and she just looked away, as if she didn't care. Ross also looked at Rachel with a smile, realising that if Joey was on a date then it meant they could finally come clean with the whole thing and it would all be okay again. However, he got disapointed at her look, he knew her too well for her to try to cover the fact that it did upset her a little. "What?", he asked her privately. "Nothing", she answered forcing a smile. He looked down and then away from her. 

She looked back at Joey and Kate, hurt. She didn't know her truly feelings for Joey just yet, but I can tell you in advace it wasn't love. The reason why she was so broken hearted was because he was indeed cheating on her after all, they were engaged. If she loved him just as much as she thought he loved her, there it would be, she would be cheated on bad again. "What is it about me that make all men who seem to love me cheat on me?", she thought to herself. Then she turned to look at Ross and remembered the whole story with Chloe on their anniversary. He also cheated on her... It could happen again, right? Joey's betrayal hit her in that aspect, it showed her maybe she still wasn't really over the incident with Ross which happened so long ago. And, besides, it also hurt because Joey was someone she respected and trusted. She couldn't complain much about him though, she was doing the very same thing to him with Ross. But still, in those times you just seem to go blind and totally selfish. 

"Hm, do you think we should ask them to join us?", Chandler proposed, unsurely. They all looked at each other, also unsure about it. "Isn't it risky? I mean, you, me, Ross and Rachel out to dinner together? It's gonna get kinda obvious", Monica said. "We can't go out as a group of friends? Says who?", Chandler said. Monica sighed, "It's up to you". Ross and Rachel looked at each other and she disserted, "I don't think that's such a good idea". Chandler thought about it for a second, he would have never thought they'd be in a situation like that, refusing to take one of their best friends in their table. However, he figured he wasn't on the position to have much of an opinion there, the problem didn't quite concern him, so he just let it go. "We can just tell them we didn't see them. If they see us they'll come and say hi", Rachel added. 

"Sounds like a plan", Chandler said, accepting the fact he shouldn't show his frustration. Things after that though got kinda awkward. The food arrived soon after that and it took them a while to regaing the rythim of the conversation. The whole deal with Joey and Chloe was still bothering Rachel, but she decided to try hard to put those things aside to let herself enjoy her night out. Ross was still suspecious at Rachel's reaction, he knew something was bothering her and he feared deeply she had realised she had feelings for Joey. He remembered all the times she realised her feelings for him once he was with someone else, so maybe it had happened with Joey aswell. Differently from Rachel, he couldn't push that thought aside no matter how hard he tried. 

"Should we call to check on Emma?", Rachel asked in a stern voice, softly stroking Ross' tigh. He looked at her and smiled a little, like that simple gesture gave him a little more confidence on Rachel's love for him. "She's fine, Rach, don't worry. If anything happens mom's gonna call us and I doubt she will have to", he replied comfortingly. "Just relax", he finished. "Alright, I will", she said with a smile. After that things got a little better for them and the conversation flew better again. But, since Joey was still there after all, their loving gestures to each other were reduced to holding hands, stroking each other's tighs, both under the table, and a sweet smile or look here and there. 

After dinner was over both couples decided to walk their way home and left the restaurant quietly enough not to get Joey's atention. He seemed so concentrated on his pizza though that it would be really hard for them to get his atention even if they really wanted! 

The streets of New York weren't so cold, but Rachel's dress was revealing enough to get her a bit chilly. Ross noticed and wrapped his jacket around her shoulders, finally being able to plant a kiss on her forehead and then on her lips. Monica and Chandler were very happy at they were seeing. As mentioned before, it felt good for them to hang out with their best friends after all. And besides, more than anyone, both had seen Ross and Rachel's struggles over the years, their on and off relationship and the emotional consequences it had brought, so they were happy to see them making it work and being happy together again. Ross and Rachel were different now, they were much more mature, therefore their relationship would most likely suceed this time. 

"Ever thought one day the four of us would be here, like this?", Monica asked with a smile, her arms wrapped around her husband's waist. They all smiled at each other, it was a funny question. Certainly neither of them ever thought this would happen, in the past. First because no one would ever imagine Monica and Chandler together. Second, well, Ross and Rachel at some point seemed to have given up on their relationship for good. But against all odds there they were, all of them. "So you think Phoebe and Joey will ever hook up?", Chandler joked. 

The mention of Joey's name once again brought the memory of Chloe back to Rachel's mind, and she suddenly became aware of her arms around the man who once hurt her so. Back then she hated him so much, for ruining their love, their happiness. With time it kinda faded away, they became friends again and nothing was said about it anymore. But if it happened again, who could asure her she wouldn't end up just as hurt as before- maybe even more? God, she could be really insecure when it came to Ross. Mostly because she had never loved or needed anyone as much as him and that thought really scared her. 

When they reached both apartments -one across from the other-, they said their goodbyes and went on separate ways. It didn't take Ross and Rachel too long to reach their floor. They had to let go of each other to face his mom again and before they opened the door they share one last kiss. "Oh, hi kids, you're back already?", Judy Geller said, turning the t.v. off. "Yeah, mom, as I said we just went out for some pizza with Monica and Chandler", Ross explained. "How's Emma?", Rachel asked anxiously. "She's fine, she was a good baby. Dirty diaper here and there, nothing I couldn't handle. She's so adorable" Rachel smiled proudly and looked at her watch "Alright then, I'll go check to see if she's awake to feed her before I go to bed. Thank you, Judy" "Not a problem, Rachel, always glad to be with my granddaughter". 

Rachel was on the rocking chair with Emma when Judy entered to say goodbye. Rachel had thought she was going to spend the night in, but Judy said something about an early party on the next day and how her husband Jack was there to pick her up already, so she left. Soon Ross was in there too and they had some small talk while Rachel finished feeding Emma. Once she was done, both set the baby on her crib and left the nursery. 

"So, did you have fun tonight?", Ross asked her when they sat down on the couch. She thought about it for a second and then replied naturally "Of course". He smiled at her and she laid down on the couch, with her head on his lap. She closed her eyes and relaxed a little, he stroked her hair tenderly. Both thought about the earlier events and all that went through their heads, wondering if they should bring it up. Ross took the first step and decided to take a more optimistic approach "So, I guess now we can come clean with Joey, huh?" 

Rachel opened her eyes and looked at him, trying to hide the fact that it bothered her talking about it. "Yeah, I- I guess" "Are you, are you not okay with this?", he asked catiously. "Yes, of course I am okay with this. Why wouldn't I be?" she answered, still kinda nervous. He got even more upset, he hated the fact he knew it when she was lying sometimes. "What is it? Are you jealous?" She got up from his lap shooting him a look. "I told you I'm perfectly okay with this, Ross! Would you stop it! Are **you** jealous?" she asked upset. "Yes, yes I am!", he answered. Even though both were getting upset, they kept their tone down because of the baby. 

"What?" She absolutely hated it when he was so jealous of her, it was one of the factors that started tearing up their relationship when they were together before. She couldn't understand why he felt like that, it was almost a sickness. "Ross, don't you trust me? Even after all these years, I can't believe you don't trust me! If I wanted to be with someone else then I wouldn't be with you, I don't cheat, okay?", she said. He looked at her hurt, really upset. "Is this a backfire to me??" he asked. "You take it as you want, Ross, my conscience is clean. Now excuse me, I'm gonna go rest now 'cause it'll be much better than discussion this with you. Goodnight", she said coldly before she left to her room. 

Even though their fights weren't as agressive as they were before, they somehow hurt even more. Every word seemed to suit their truthful value and there was no such thing as saying things they didn't mean, they actually seemed to look for even more meanings between every line. So everything they said was taken seriously and weighed a lot on their mind, neither of them could sleep right. Specially that night, when the gohst of the past came back to haunt their dreams, in every meaning those words could have. 

**End of chapter 6**


End file.
